Archive for the ‘spirituality’ Category

Addicted to Approval?

January 31, 2010

“Once you free yourself from the need for perfect acceptance, it’s a lot easier to launch work that matters.” ~ Seth Godin

Everyone has an opinion

I’ve noticed how often I wondered what others would think before I took an action or made a decision. In the past, there have been times when I felt addicted to wanting approval from others before moving forward.

My husband is reading a book that makes the distinction between choices and decisions. The author says CHOICES are made from the heart, while DECISIONS are made from the intellect. I’m learning to trust my choices and have quit making decisions by committee. I gather information from a variety of sources (including my gut) and then choose. I’ve given up feeling I need to do what someone else thinks just because I asked for their opinion.

It is a journey for me and I’m aware now more than ever of the choice I always have to speak my truth in love. I’ve heard several times recently that the only time someone will accuse you of being selfish is when you don’t do what THEY want. That is an eye-opening perspective for me.

Part of this journey has been making peace with the understanding that I don’t need other people to agree with me. My truth is my truth. A gift of growing older is that I’ve learned more, experienced more and met others who comfortably live their truth. I examine what I think and why I believe a particular thing… and sometimes change my mind.

I believe in cooperation, collaboration and finding ways to work together. I think the ways we can come together are more important that the reasons that keep us apart. I also believe that we all just want to be heard, appreciated and loved.

I’m working with a couple of business collaborators on a tele-seminar around approval that was sparked from the Seth Godin quote at the top of this post. We aren’t sure how this will all come together, but we are excited about exploring the topic.

Your thoughts about this would be helpful as we gather information! Please share any comment that “addicted to approval” sparks within you, including ways you have “done work that matters by moving forward without perfect acceptance.”

I’ve also posted a question on LinkedIn if you would like to leave your comments there and see what others are saying.

Thank you!

Everything has a Season

October 7, 2009

It has been raining in Atlanta. That was an understatement as a few weeks ago flooding was extensive throughout the city. This in a state (Georgia) that has been in drought conditions for the past 4 (maybe 5) years.

photo by Rob Hamilton

photo by Rob Hamilton

This photo was shared by several folks in my Facebook community. I thought it was particularly poignant in illustrating that we go through seasons of our lives, and things are always changing. All this happened at the Jewish New Year, Yom Kippur, which my Jewish friend says is a feasting holiday to balance out the fasting times during the year.

I’m grateful to have come through a “fasting” season in my own life and moving into a “feasting” season. I’m giving more attention to the things in my life that make me happy, that make me laugh, that help me feel part of a bigger picture. I’m giving less attention to the things that make me feel scared, sad and alone. I’m having faith that I am well cared for and I don’t have to do it all myself (well, part of the time anyway)!

I truly believe that the energy we put out come back to us… multiplied! So gratitude is a big part of my future well-being plan.

I’m grateful for the rain and I’m grateful for the clear skies with sun. A season for everything.

Make it 9!

September 9, 2009

Today is 09.09.09. My friend Carolyn suggested 9 as a theme for today (which I read just before 9am!) So, here are nine affirmations for my day and my life.

1. I do work that I love, working with and for people I really like, making more than enough money to play, to pay and to give away.

2. I am an instrument in the hand of God.

3. I embrace life, I radiate energy, I make connections. All my good expands and circles back to me in many forms including money, creative work, supportive relationships, great health and more.

4. I play. I laugh. I learn. I love.

5. I am willing to love and approve of myself just as I am.

6. I am willing to release the need for approval from others.

7. I am willing to be still.

8. I am willing to let things come to me easily.

9. I am willing to trust myself and my internal guidance.

Many thanks to Carolyn for this suggestion. What are your nine affirmations for today?

47 Thanks to Celebrate 47 Years

August 22, 2009

1. Ben, my cutie-pie husband of 1 year today
2. Cleo, TC and Squeak, our furry kids… nothing beats purring cat therapy
3. The love and support of my family… you are the best!
4. Good health – mine, Ben’s, my parents and more
5. My friends… the absolute coolest people!
6. Good genes (the DNA kind!)
7. Good jeans (the spandex kind!)
8. A creative mind
9. Eyesight that lets me take in beauty all around
10. All of my senses… grateful for the full experience!
11. Flowers! Spring is my favorite time in Atlanta when the world is in bloom
12. Martial arts training which opened the door to an expanded spiritual awareness and alternative healing modalities
13. Massage and reflexology… giving and getting
14. Chocolate chip cookies (especially my Aunt Doris Ann’s cookies!)
15. Smores Crunch Bars from Medifast
16. Summer fruit… Blueberries, Bing Cherries, Watermelon
17. Anything my mom cooks (or bakes)
18. Restaurants with yummy breakfast menus: J. Christopher’s, Flying Biscuit, Flavor Café
19. I could have an entire list of foods! Grateful that I have easy access to a wide variety of healthy and delicious food.
20. Clients that love to hire me, are fun to work with and pay quickly!
21. God Winks, the synchronicities I encounter ALL THE TIME!
22. My Mac
23. My iPhone
24. An interesting life with many opportunities
25. Easily connecting with people I meet and helping others connect
26. Adding value and making money from a variety of revenue streams
27. Uniquely combining things/ideas/people to create something new
28. My intuition and emotional guidance system
29. Living in a cool house that Ben and I both love
30. Beauty products including Hydrating Gel from Mary Kay, Ginger Rush body lotion from Origins and White Citrus cologne from Bath & Body Works.
31. Getting people together for events like the Roswell-tree
32. Doing Good!
33. Receiving Good!
34. Movies in 3D… love the special effects
35. Live theatrical performances
36. So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars… so fun to watch!
37. Reading… so many books, so little time!
38. Restful sleep
39. Being in nature… especially mountains and beaches
40. My grandmothers. Strong mountain women who loved their families and raised great kids who became my parents.
41. Creating cool designs that effectively communicate a message
42. Learning about our magnificent bodies. What a miracle in how our body functions and repairs itself.
43. Being physically active
44. Having people in my life who make me laugh
45. Technology … how it helps me connect to people and work with greater flexibility
46. Having Choices and knowing EVERYTHING works together for my good
47. Knowing that I am an instrument through which God loves other people

Getting Back Into Balance

August 10, 2009

A few years ago, I read a book where the author used the analogy of a top spinning. If it was balanced, it could spin incredibly fast and stay centered. If the top was the smallest bit off balance it started to wobble and lose momentum.

I’ve felt off-balance many times in the past year. I’ve experienced lots of good things this year, but challenging financial difficulties and the decision and actuality of closing my business, Profits in Progress. Through this year, I’ve been more honest and have taken steps to be kinder with myself. (Does everyone say meaner things to themselves than they would to others? Or is it just me?)

Through this year, I’ve started to trust my inner sense of knowing to a greater degree. There is a phrase, “don’t push the river.” I got too tired to keep pushing the river and fighting upstream toward a goal that I wasn’t reaching. Amazingly, this easier flow of life is so much more simple and enjoyable. It is such a blessing to realize that the job of “Manager of the Universe” really is not mine to perform.

Some of the practices that help me with balance… that I’ve practiced often this year:

Getting it out of my head. I’ve had private journals for 15+ years. Truly “writing my heart out” is still reserved for notebooks only I will read, but I’m finding that others enjoy my ramblings with my entry into the world of blogging.

Spending time outdoors always clears my head, eyes and heart. I love to walk at the park or in the woods…and the beach whenever I have the opportunity. That time outside helps me appreciate the beautiful world around me and often sparks ideas.

Laughing with friends. This has a magical effect of letting me feel the hand of God on my life. I’m so grateful to all the people who laugh with me and share their quirky perspective of life.

Massage… giving or getting. I took a massage certification course in 2002 and find that when I focus while giving a massage, it becomes a moving meditation. And being on the receiving end helps me appreciate what a wonder this body is and how easily it can remember what relaxation should feel like when I just let go and allow it.

Prayer, affirmations and meditation. I’ve discovered the power of using a mala this year and I’m amazed how centering this “reminding” tool can be for me. I’ve used my mala with prayers, one bead per person, and with affirmations, repeating each affirmation a bead at time, through a section or the entire 108 beads.

I created a Prayer Book a few months ago. It contains prayers, poems, songs and quotes that comfort and inspire me. I sometimes carry it with me and re-read the entries and add new ones

My birthday is near the end of August and I often make commitments on that day. (Last year I got married on my birthday!) I hope to remember more often what balance feels like during my next trip around the sun. I will encourage my “take control self” to “lighten up!” When life gets a little wobbly, I’ll do a few simple things to bring myself back into center. And sometimes, falling down is the best way to start over.

Guidance, Action and Leverage

July 9, 2009

I have often acted to make myself feel that I was accomplishing something without waiting for my internal guidance system to kick in. It seems that our culture is all about action. Over and over I hear the key to success is setting goals and taking action, but it is impossible to do it all and which actions to take?

The idea of “leverage” keeps popping up for me. Taking focused action to give me the most result for the least effort. I even named my new company “Connect 4 Leverage” to remind me that I get the most benefit from combining my efforts strategically with those of others to see quicker and more successful results.

A bigger lesson for me is to get centered and listen to God talking to me through my internal guidance before I act. A few years ago, Shihan Pete Pukish said to me during a martial arts class, “It’s hard to move from your center when you’re hauling ass out in front of yourself.” Over the years, that has been my perpetual challenge, hauling ass because I was scared or excited and getting ahead of my guidance – then tripping over myself into something I didn’t want.

I’m reading (for the second time) the Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman.  His teacher in Hawaii says this to him about leverage. “To really help people, you first need to understand them – but you can’t understand someone else until you understand yourself. Know yourself; prepare yourself; develop the clarity, the courage and the sensitivity to exert the right leverage, in the right place, at the right time. Then act.”

In what ways are you getting leverage? See how others answered this question on LinkedIn. Post a comment about how you are getting leverage.

What’s Your Word

June 15, 2009

I recently finished the amazing book, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I tend to flag things in books that I want to remember [those little post-it flags are one of the coolest inventions ever!] Ben laughs at my colorfully flagged books when I’m done.

So, one of the flagged segments I love is where Elizabeth is having a conversation with a friend about what word describes or defines you. Maybe not your entire life, but where you are right now.

I starting pondering what that word would be for me. A few days earlier I had heard a quote that resonated, “The only way to become experienced is to have experiences.” I have always loved having experiences more than having stuff. I seem to be drawn to experiences that I want to repeat over and over (like getting a great massage), as well as some that I hope never happen again (like getting divorced.) But, with each experience I expand my vision and learn more about me. So, I’ve decided “Experiences” is my word.

I was so enamored with this idea of a word description, that I posted it on LinkedIn and 42 people responded with their word.

Here are a few of my favorites:

What is your word? Join the conversation by adding your word in the comment section below.